


uncertain, fighting something

by kahvikummitus



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/F, they don't actually get together in this fic sorry, unnecessarily short fic, very much tasha-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 12:55:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13341693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kahvikummitus/pseuds/kahvikummitus
Summary: Post "The Naked Now" - Deanna had sensed that Tasha was fighting something, and Tasha realises exactly what that something is.





	uncertain, fighting something

Tasha's been avoiding a lot of people recently. Data for obvious reasons, but also Deanna, and it takes her a bit of time to figure out exactly why. She likes Deanna and admires her.

"I feel you're fighting something," Deanna had said.

That was true. Tasha has always been fighting something. As a child it was literal, fighting against a world where she stood little chance of survival. Then escaping it, and fighting the guilt of that. Fighting anyone who doubted her, and fighting the part of herself that felt bitterness at everything she went through. Fighting the idea, rooted in her from her earliest memories, that she was weak. Fighting with what she, and the society she had grown up in, perceived as the source of that weakness.

She thought that last one was what Deanna had been talking about. Her repressed femininity, that she had thought she was dealing with in her own way. Clearly she wasn't doing a good job of it, as evidenced by her breaking into Deanna's quarters to get emotional about beautiful clothes.

But it's on her next shift on the bridge that she realises what's really going on. It's a quiet day, with not much to do, and Captain Picard has already gotten bored and gone to his ready room to do something more productive than watch stars whizz past. Deanna looks like she is making notes, maybe writing down stray thoughts and feelings she's picking up, maybe doing an analysis of the crew, maybe doing a crossword. Something is probably going to happen soon - there's no such thing as a completely quiet day on the Enterprise - but for now it doesn't feel like the calm before the storm, it just feels calm.

And there's Deanna, wearing a pink top along with her usual shades of blue, and a few stray hairs in her face, and bright red lips. She had smiled and waved at Tasha when she came onto the bridge, but she's giving Tasha her space. But the longer Tasha stands there, watching Deanna, the less she wants space. Avoiding her seems like a terrible idea now, when all she wants is for Deanna to smile at her some more.

_Oh_ , Tasha thinks.  _That's what this was about_.

At some later time, she'll think about why she has been fighting these feelings. For now, she's content to feel them.

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be a lot longer originally but this felt like a natural place to stop so. Here we are! (I'm almost certainly going to write more though.)


End file.
